physical world

now... my world got simple. Possible romance thoughts passed and now I am focusing on material aspects of life, because they're simply the "strong" side of it, at least now.
Personality is really hard to control, especially if someone is as emotional person as me. Body, well, it's not easy to start controlling it, but once you do it is quite enjoyable. So I am working on it now, 2 hours a day at least, still watching what I'm eating and drinking, and constantly having some sour muscles. But it makes me happier, in a small way, because I challenge myself, and I am winning! And it's good to know that if I really want to I can win with myself.

And then shopping... recently money are ok with me. I don't have a fortune, but I'm not lacking either. So I buy small but pretty stuff from time to time to forget the total loneliness I am facing here in Taiwan. I totally gave up on the childish hopes that I can get a friend here, not to mention a boyfriend. On shallow level me and Taiwanese are just great, but when I want to move it deeper (and I always want to), they just leave me without a word. For me it's pretty cruel, but they are emotionally really selfish people. At least from my experience, and of course I know, I know... it's not EVERYONE... but those people must be very rare. I mean "my" people, because I don't doubt other people can find here what their "own" kind of people, it's just me that is a problem, obviously. Well wow, you see I always like to go deep :D