physical world

now... my world got simple. Possible romance thoughts passed and now I am focusing on material aspects of life, because they're simply the "strong" side of it, at least now.
Personality is really hard to control, especially if someone is as emotional person as me. Body, well, it's not easy to start controlling it, but once you do it is quite enjoyable. So I am working on it now, 2 hours a day at least, still watching what I'm eating and drinking, and constantly having some sour muscles. But it makes me happier, in a small way, because I challenge myself, and I am winning! And it's good to know that if I really want to I can win with myself.

And then shopping... recently money are ok with me. I don't have a fortune, but I'm not lacking either. So I buy small but pretty stuff from time to time to forget the total loneliness I am facing here in Taiwan. I totally gave up on the childish hopes that I can get a friend here, not to mention a boyfriend. On shallow level me and Taiwanese are just great, but when I want to move it deeper (and I always want to), they just leave me without a word. For me it's pretty cruel, but they are emotionally really selfish people. At least from my experience, and of course I know, I know... it's not EVERYONE... but those people must be very rare. I mean "my" people, because I don't doubt other people can find here what their "own" kind of people, it's just me that is a problem, obviously. Well wow, you see I always like to go deep :D

vampire world

Ok... I know I am too old for vampire stuff.... but I also need to hide from reality, especially this year. And vampire stories reality is just easy. Nothing especially ambitious, just relaxing. I re-read Twilight and New Moon recently and I am not jumping into Eclipse because this books makes me always angry, and I have enough anger issues without that. So started reading "Dead until dark" by Charlaine Harris, maybe you heard about TV series "true blood"? That's the story. Also I started watching Vampite Diaries... which is totally teenagish version of Twilight, and made me a little angry with actually laughing at Twilight in it:/ Seems like mean people are everywhere.

So in the vamp world... it's cosy. Outside... I just don't even wanna start on it. School is full of work. Human relations suck. My rented house... well... I really feel I shouldn't move in here, I feel sooooo unwanted now that it is just awkward if I step out of my room.

Well yeah, vampires suck too :D

As a Deer...

that my heart is longing You (or so I think the lyrics go... since I'm more sure of Polish version of my favourite worship song). And I do long, because it's a relief, and I need one. But is longing enough? I don't feel so strong as a Christian yet, and I'm a little embarrassed of it.

Taiwan has it hard on me recently. I don't know if this is some homesickness, but generally I don't want to be at home... I just don't want to be in Taiwan for a moment. It's just so lonely here. And because of that small things makes so angry that I want to cry. Like yesterday... I was waiting for a girl to leave from a scooter parking space in front of my fitness club... I waited pretty long (she was getting ready by putting the mask, helmet, and what not), and then when she was gone and I started maneuvering to get to her place some Taiwanese old guy just rode fast into the place. I wanted to scream, I felt so helpless... I couldn't even scold him in Chinese. Grrrrrrrrrr. And I know not all Taiwanese are like that... but recently this things happens to me sooo often (maybe because I have scooter) and it is so hard to talk to anyone about serious things. Because who ever I talk to, all I can get from them "I'm fine". 1) I don't believe they are. 2) Ok, I get it... you're fine, then let's talk about something else!

I really need to give up on some people, I try to hard to be their friends and then I get "I'm fine" in the end... :/

The only good thing now is sport! Injecting endomorphism into my veins is just nice~ and it's good to feel more fit :) especially at the beginning people judge me as a lazy person who eat only hamburgers and do nothing, and then I love to kick their asses showing off how wrong they are :D Still some people seem to think even though I exercise a lot I must be laing about the food I eat since I'm still fat. Well it's not the same easy for everyone to be slim... it's not me who chose to be this way. I would also prefer to be like so many Asians... eating loads of sugars and fats and stay skinny :/

You see... I'm just angry about everything recently ... :/

socializing

ok... could be last moments of my freedom, before my professor is back with all my troubles. So last few days I was enjoying our time with my new room mate :) Thursday was reaaaally nice... first we went hunting/shopping to Sogo. And well I must have a bad day because I spent a little too much, but at last I got an outfit that I wanted to have... long sweater/tunic, wide leather belt and another pair of leggings :D and unfortunately, Mango in here does not have my size when it comes to pants ://////// well online store hopefully delivers to Taiwan :D

Well actually, shopping was really fun :D Like while walking around suddenly we see 4 white teenager guys coming out from escalator. They see me and stop surprised, and ask "Do you speak English", me and my friend obviously say "Yeah, duh", which makes those boy happy and cheering for us. LOLZ. I do not get that happy to see "big noses" around :D

Well then my friend had this great idea of going to Aman King for live band night :D Hell yeah! I mean, pubs here are expensive, but this one... at least no entrance fee, live music and well good service :D and it was really a pub - no dancing :D

So the bands... there were two of them. The first one - good male voice, and cute drummer (that I've seen on a New Years' company party before). But they didn't sing the songs we wanted :P The second band... so funny! The girl's voice this time was more to my likings but the male singer was just incredible showman :d His impersonations were hilarious, he sang Micheal Jackson, and he was a MJ at that time XD (and so I did dance with MJ ;)), then he could be even Sponge Bob characters :D And he did sing our song :D Sorry Sorry Sorry :D WOW, I mean... it's Korean song :D We stayed there till 3 AM :) Was great and I hope we will go there next week too :}

And then tomorrow............... the wedding in Taipei :D I'm excited, my first wedding in Taiwan, and it's cool to see friends getting married! I'm so happy for them!

back at home

yep... I am back in Taiwan and I feel like being back home. Kind of relieved from who knows what. The day is pretty busy... meeting new landlord, packing, soon moving, cleaning and shopping. All that still tonight (and it's 4 PM already!). And why oh why it pouring down!!! And typhoon is coming tomorrow ==;; so I need to move tonight... because between typhoon and rain... the rain wins. I hope my friend who is so kind to help me with his car to move all that stuff will be patient enough.

But apart from being at home and excited about new place I'm kind of anxious.... there this very very dark menace over our heads... the THESIS. Sometimes I feel like 6 years old and just wanna start crying and shouting that I don't want to do it and I want to go to my mom, but too bad I can't do it :/ Like always while fighting with thesis writing I complain a lot. Sorry.

-> Home

So it's time. Tomorrow I'm flying home for summer vacations! I think it is first time I'm going home for vacation. Knowing I will stay there only for short time. It's kind of different feeling from all the other times I ever was going back.

Well I'm ready, generally~ I'm packed... just still wait to book the seat in the airplane (damn you KLM!). My thesis topic was changed, but I guess it's ok. I have no emotions about it really.

Today I go for Indian lunch, which I cannot really wait~ but I just wish it was Monday already >.<

Sorry Sorry Naka Naka and I don't wanna cry alone

I must confess I am easily addicted to music recently. It's like those songs get to my head and heart for few days and play on and on, untill I find new songs! Last week was totally Lenka's week. This week I'm giving her a break and replying KAT-TUN's Rescue and Super Junior's Sorry Sorry :D And I actually don't like those songs because of the cute guys, they're just nice bonus:D Also yesterday I got an album of Meiko. I totally randomly decided to give her a chance, and it was so worth it. I know she will be my music theme for another week!

But since tomorrow we have the BIG exam, I need more energy and the energetic Asian guys works well for that. So... Sorry sorry sorry naka naka naka *one leg, the other leg, one round with your body and so on*.

I must admit though I'm really trying to ignore "Rescue" lyrics... most of it it's in (bad) English, so understanding is not a problem... but it is totally depressing. LOL! Good my Korean is non-exsisting:D

Also yesterday I went to the Monday body combat class (before I only go on Sundays). I loved it! More people, more energy! It was more tiring, but whatever... we were even shouting with the punches and all that crazy feel of "battle mode". Know I just want continue practicing punches :P And cannot stop wondering how different it must be to actaully punch a person. Not that I'm looking forward to a chance for that :D

Lugang

We went to Lugang today with Sui Lin and Aaron... since all of us go back to our countries soon, Lugang is a perfect place for buying souvenirs. I got the caligraphies, ceramics and some small stuff as I wanted... and also a huge Shawn the sheep plushie :D We also tried some good food.

But while buying one of the snacks a young girl asked if she can treat us to some "squid balls" and take photo with us. WOW. We agreed, thinking she wants it for advertisment purpose... but actuallythe squid place was just a tiny stall, and photos was not even really taken with it. And also surprisingly she was most interested in taking photos with me rather than Aaron! She asked me for 3 or 4 shots! That was weird! But free snacks - always good! Hehehe... it's nice to feel nice:D Hopefully she wasn't hitting on me or somthing XD

And though typhoon (or just tropical storm) was scheduled... it was totally sunny and hot!

Hmm... let's test the cool post-by-email feature

I must admit blogspot is a very good blog service, I'm kind of sorry I didn't use it earlier... now it would be hard to switch from a blog I used for last 4 years to a new one. You know... moving people, archives... all that, just too "ma fan".

But I want to use it just for the pleasure of usage :D Hehehe... maybe here I should focus on my cross-cultural experiences?

Like the one yesterday when I was doubting my eyes. I saw an old man jogging along our campus, with a dog. The golden Labrador was wearing glasses. One eye was sun-glasses the other empty. Why it didn't fell? It was held by a strap. The dog was wearing a wristband as well. I so regretted I don't have my camera with me.

Agnes