that my heart is longing You (or so I think the lyrics go... since I'm more sure of Polish version of my favourite worship song). And I do long, because it's a relief, and I need one. But is longing enough? I don't feel so strong as a Christian yet, and I'm a little embarrassed of it.
Taiwan has it hard on me recently. I don't know if this is some homesickness, but generally I don't want to be at home... I just don't want to be in Taiwan for a moment. It's just so lonely here. And because of that small things makes so angry that I want to cry. Like yesterday... I was waiting for a girl to leave from a scooter parking space in front of my fitness club... I waited pretty long (she was getting ready by putting the mask, helmet, and what not), and then when she was gone and I started maneuvering to get to her place some Taiwanese old guy just rode fast into the place. I wanted to scream, I felt so helpless... I couldn't even scold him in Chinese. Grrrrrrrrrr. And I know not all Taiwanese are like that... but recently this things happens to me sooo often (maybe because I have scooter) and it is so hard to talk to anyone about serious things. Because who ever I talk to, all I can get from them "I'm fine". 1) I don't believe they are. 2) Ok, I get it... you're fine, then let's talk about something else!
I really need to give up on some people, I try to hard to be their friends and then I get "I'm fine" in the end... :/
The only good thing now is sport! Injecting endomorphism into my veins is just nice~ and it's good to feel more fit :) especially at the beginning people judge me as a lazy person who eat only hamburgers and do nothing, and then I love to kick their asses showing off how wrong they are :D Still some people seem to think even though I exercise a lot I must be laing about the food I eat since I'm still fat. Well it's not the same easy for everyone to be slim... it's not me who chose to be this way. I would also prefer to be like so many Asians... eating loads of sugars and fats and stay skinny :/
You see... I'm just angry about everything recently ... :/
3 comments:
Darn I wrote a long comment and $)(@*()*$@ blogspot here just hangs after I hit Post Comment and not send it...
Edit: I try to post my comment a 2nd time, the system just returns with a blank page, and nothing is posted after I hit "Post Comment". This place sucks! LJ don't have nearly this much problem...
I was saying, I might have told you this in the past too, that I think you can't force friendship out. I don't have many friends left in my city, and I was told I just need to "make" more.
But I don't think you can just 'make'friends when you need, just like you can expect your boyfriend/girlfriend just pops up when you want. There is issue of compatiblity and chemistry. The friends that you try to connect with, don't seem to reach beyond just surface talk. So that it's hard to connect with them.
The Asians you know eat loads of sugars and fats and stay skinny...let me guess, they are mostly under 30? Trust me, once they get over 30, they'd get fat too if they don't watch what they eat (just ask me hehe). So while they seem to worry free now, it wont last forever. Party has to end.
Anyway, good you're here expressing your emotion! I think it's better you don't hold back your emotion and express it, so you get a release from your system, good for your health really!
I think I figure out why the blog doesn't work for me, because I was using FireFox, and in IE, after I hit "Post Comment", IE asks me to login using choice of my account, but in Firefox, it just returns a blank page...this place is not FireFox friendly heheh.
haha this is google place:D so it's google chrome friendly :P I <3 Google :D but I know loosing comments is frustrating.
Yeah I know you can't force friendships... bit you know these are people I thought I have the chemistry with already.
well, life is life:d
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